


Phoenix

by Keolah



Category: The Bible
Genre: Abandoned Work - Unfinished and Discontinued, Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Amnesia, Angels, Female!Jesus, Gen, POV First Person, Temporary Character Death, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2003-10-01
Updated: 2003-10-01
Packaged: 2017-11-13 18:21:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 12,667
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/506364
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Keolah/pseuds/Keolah
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jessie finds herself caught up in a war between different factions of angels.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Emptiness

Sunlight's warm glow caressed my face. I blinked awake, and slowly rose to a sitting position. As I glanced around at my surroundings, I realized that I didn't know where I was or how I got here. I didn't even know who I was. It was a most disturbing and confusing feeling, to not even know my name.

I stood up shakily and investigated my unfamiliar surroundings better. A back alleyway paved with dirty stones led out into a quiet street. The other way led out into a sparse, scraggly forest. Slowly I moved to investigate the street, which was quiet even though the sun's position indicated that it was noon.

There was a dead silence in the air, as if no living thing were stirring for miles. A faint wind touched my skin, but the streets were empty. Again I wondered where I was, and if there should be other people around.

I looked down to inspect myself, to see if I bore any hint of who I might be. My skin was pale as ivory, and my golden hair streamed down my shoulders like rays of sunlight, coiling all the way down my back. I was clad in a simple white dress, and bore no pouches or possessions that might give some hint to my identity.

Cautiously, I began to explore the town. Throughout the streets, I saw no sign of other people, nor any sign of where they went. There were no bodies to indicate that they had been killed, nor damage to the buildings or blood on the streets. There were still signs of animals, however: the buzzing of a fly somewhere nearby, the scratching of rats in the shadows of the alleyways.

I tried one of the doors off the street, and discovered it was ajar. Pushing it open, I went inside and looked around. It was a small home, with no sign of occupants. There was still bread and fruit on the table, half-eaten, as if someone got up and left in the middle of a meal. Judging by the state of the fruit, I estimated it to have been fresh at least twelve hours ago. Other than that, there was no sign of anything else amiss. It didn't appear that anything had been taken. A girl with amber eyes looked back at me from a small mirror.

Frowning to myself, I went outside again to investigate further. Everywhere else, the scene was much the same. Some of the doors were closed, some were left open or stood ajar. The entire city seemed devoid of human life. As I puzzled over the mystery, I ate some of the food that had been left that was still good.

Heading back to the edge of town again, I peered into the woods. On the east side of town, where I had woken up, the forest was sparse and the trees were gnarled and twisted. Toward the north, I discovered the trees were no less warped, but they were much more dense, their tangled branches knotting at one another and completely blocking the view for any distance. This part of the forest was eerily quiet. No birds could be heard here.

I shivered slightly as I turned and headed back into town. I did not dare to explore that ominous forest. It was beginning to get dark, and the wind was picking up, so I took up refuge in one of the abandoned homes. I closed the door, pulled the drapes shut on the window, and curled up in a warm blanket. I wasn't really tired, though, so I tried to remain awake and alert.

As darkness crept in, I waited, listening to the howling wind. Then suddenly, I thought I saw movement outside the window, a shadow crossing the curtains. I held my breath, cautiously moving slowly to peer between a slit in the curtains. Maybe it was just an animal. Or the wind. Or maybe somebody was in town again.

Not daring to move lest I be spotted, I watched and waited for some sign of what I had seen. For a long time I peered out at the empty street, but saw nothing. Maybe I hadn't seen anything after all.

Then I saw him. A silhouette in the pale moonlight. Purposefully he strode down the street. Raven-black hair curled around his shoulders. For a moment his piercing eyes seemed to look directly at me. Then he looked away and moved past the window.

For several long moments I sat there, my heart racing, the image of the man's face ingrained into my mind. Who was he? Where had I seen him before? Had I seen him before? Why did the very sight of him strike fear into my heart? I had no answers. My body still quavering, I slipped down away from the window and curled up in the blanket again. But when sleep finally came, it came with strange and twisted nightmares of pain and death.

Mercifully, I awoke with a start some time later. I couldn't tell how much time had passed. A quick glance at the window indicated that it was still dark outside. Suddenly I realized that I wasn't alone here. I turned again to look, and saw that man again, standing there calmly and looking down at me. My heart almost leaped into my throat as I curled into the corner away from him, but I knew there was nowhere to run.

The man spoke in a low, steady voice. "It took me long enough to find you. How much do you remember?"

I blinked for a moment, looking at him in confusion. "Nothing. I don't remember anything." I tried to stay calm, without much success. My quavering voice betrayed my fear. "What's going on here?"

"Patience, patience, my dear," he said in a soothing voice. "All will be explained, in due time." He held out his hand to me. "Come with me. I will explain everything. I promise."

I hesitated to take his hand. Frozen in terror, I stared at him for several long moments. I didn't know who this stranger was, but he seemed so smooth and reassuring. At the same time, the entire situation somehow felt wrong. But what choice did I have? With a sigh, I reached out and took his hand, and he helped me up. He led me through the dark and quiet streets to a large building on the northern edge of town.

Light flared, and I blinked for a moment. In the shine of a lamp the stranger had lit I could see from the furnishings that we were inside an inn. The light gleamed in his dark eyes as he set the lamp down on a table. "Go ahead, sit down," the man said. He waved his hand at me. Tentatively, I took a seat in one of the chairs. The man did not sit, but instead began to pace around me in a most unsettling manner. "My name is Samael. Do you recognize that name?"

I shook my head. The name seemed strangely familiar in a way I could not explain, and brought a shiver to my spine, but I did not recognize it. Somehow I realized that I should, however. "Should I? Do I know you?" I asked him.

The man who called himself Samael continued to pace pensively, as if considering just what he wanted to tell me. "Yes, my dear. You are one of my most valuable servants. Your name is Jessie."

I frowned at this. The name seemed almost right, but his servant? It couldn't be. "Jessie," I repeated. "What is this place? Why is it deserted?"

He silenced me with a hand. "All in good time, my dear Jessie." The door suddenly creaked open, and I jumped with a start, craning my head over to look at the newcomer. What I saw froze me to the bone. A man stood in the doorway, but his eyes were glazed over, and his skin grey and lifeless. "Yes, what?" Samael asked him impatiently.

"One of them has been sighted west of town, Master."

Samael uttered a curse, and headed for the door. Before leaving, he pointed to me and snapped, "Stay here." Then he swept out of the place, the door clattering shut behind him.

I had no intention of following his orders. I wanted to get as far from this smooth-talking stranger and his creepy servants as possible. For several moments I remained seated to ensure they were gone. Then I stood up and went over to the door. I considered taking the lamp with me, but decided that it would make me too conspicuous.

I slipped out into the darkness, and circled the town around the east. I spotted a couple more people shuffling about, but stayed carefully out of their sight. I wanted to get as far away from here as I could, as quickly as possible. So I went off alone into the night, without even thinking to bring food or water, into the sparse and scraggly forest.


	2. Anger

Animals crowded the town, their pungent smells smothering my nostrils. The bleating of goats and the braying of donkeys pierced the brisk morning air. Villagers babbled to one another and to their animals, and peddlers trying to sell their wares called out to passersby.

My stomach rumbled. I realized that I hadn't had anything to eat but that bit of salted meat and stale bread I'd had yesterday. Weaving my way through the crowd, I sought out a food vendor.

"Fresh vegetables! Carrots, onions, potatoes," the vendor shouted. He leaned over to me and said, "You want some vegetables, milady? They're just a penny apiece."

I blinked for a moment in confusion. "I'm sorry, I don't have any pennies."

"Then you won't get any vegetables!" He turned away, trying to sell lettuce to an old woman instead.

With a sigh, I headed further into the village. A creaking sign hanging above the door to a large building proclaimed a place called Landon's Inn. Hoping for the best, I decided to try my luck there. Inside, it wasn't very crowded, but a handful of people were eating and talking.

The balding innkeeper put down his broom for a moment and came over to talk to me. "Welcome to Landon's Inn, milady. A good meal is a mere two pennies, and a room for the night is five. What'll it be?"

I took a deep breath and said quietly, "I hate to be a bother, sir, but I need food and I don't have any money. Is there something I could do, perhaps?"

The innkeeper looked me over for a few moments before saying, "Fine." He handed me the broom. "Once you're done sweeping the floor, head to the kitchen."

"Thank you, sir. Thank you very much," I told him gratefully.

After sweeping the floor and washing the dishes, I was given a bowl of hot vegetable soup and a piece of fresh bread. Glad to have something in my stomach, I went to thank the innkeeper again.

"Well, if you need a place to stay, too, I'm sure I can find more work for you," he offered. "Can you cook? What's your name, by the way?"

"I don't know about cooking," I admitted. "And I'm none too sure about my name, either. Someone told me I'm called Jessie."

Landon looked at me oddly for a moment. "Amnesia, is it? Well, Jessie, I hope you find out soon. You've got a place to stay here if you need it, until then."

"Thank you, sir. I'll try."

With that, I headed out the door and onto the streets again. Perhaps here, I could find some hint about who I was. I hoped that Samael would not follow me here. Wandering the streets, I kept my eyes out for anyone I might recognize, or more likely, that recognized me.

My wanderings brought me into the back alleys of the town. It was getting late, and in the narrow alleyways between buildings, it was already dark. Too late I realized that I had taken a wrong turn, into a dead end. The scuff of footsteps behind me told me that I wasn't alone. I spun around quickly to face two scruffy young men.

"Well, well, what have we here?" the taller one said, a broad grin on his face as he approached me slowly.

I swallowed hard, and tried to keep my voice steady. I demanded, "What do you want?"

The smaller one gave a rat-like grin. "Relax, girlie, we ain't gonna hurt you. We just wanna have a little fun, that's all."

Rage boiled up inside of me. I lifted my hands instinctively and flames burst from them, streaming in a searing blaze toward the men. One of them shrieked and ran away, flailing about and batting at his flaming clothing. The other wasn't so lucky, collapsing to the ground in a smouldering heap.

I stood there panting, looking in awe at my smoking hands and the man's blackened body. I sank to my knees in intense exhaustion, the fury draining from my body as I realized what I had done.

The world swam for several minutes, but I recovered slowly from the exhaustion. I stood up, gazing at the charred mess before me in disgust. One man was dead because of me, and a second seriously injured. It was in self-defense. Surely nobody could fault me for it. But how? My anger had brought up flames from my hands as naturally as breathing. Was I then, a sorceress? What else was I capable of?

Quickly, I strode out of the dead-end alley before anyone else wandered in and found me there. I wouldn't speak of this to anyone, I decided. They didn't need to know.

I went back to Landon's Inn and buried myself in work to take my mind off it. Guilt hung over me like a threatening cloud. Landon didn't ask any questions, and I didn't tell him anything, but from the way he looked at me I knew he suspected something. I took a chance to try my hand at cooking, and discovered I was quite good at it. But seeing the roasting meat reminded me too much of the burnt bodies of the thugs, and I decided abruptly to go back to cleaning.

Fiercely, I mopped the hallway floor, angry at myself for what I had done, and angry at being so disturbed about the meat. What did that have to do with anything? It was self-defense, I told myself forcefully. Self-defense! Heat flooded my body and sparks flew from my hands, and I dropped the mop in surprise. I took several deep breaths, trying to calm myself, before picking up the mop again and glancing around to make sure nobody had seen anything. I sighed softly and resumed mopping the floor.

Late that night, as I was ready to get some sleep, Landon approached me and said to me quietly, "Something's been bothering you all evening, Jessie. You want to talk about it?"

I shook my head, my eyes firmly affixed to the floor. "No, sir," I told him shakily. "I just want to sleep now, if that's alright, sir."

He gave a slight shrug and leaned back. "If you change your mind, my room's at the end of the hall. Sleep well."

"Thank you, sir," I said quickly, ducking into my room to sleep.

I'd hoped that a little sleep would take my mind off the scorched bodies of the thugs. I could still hear their screams in my ears. Nightmares plagued my sleep, in which I saw burning bodies, Samael's angry face, and the living dead stalking me.


	3. Mercy

I woke late the next morning, rubbing my eyes in weariness, hoping to wipe away the images that haunted my mind. With a sigh, I slipped outside into the streets. Staring at the ground and lost in thought, I didn't notice where I was walking.

A woman's shouts startled me to attention, and I realized with a start that I had wandered into the back alleys again. I searched frantically for the source of the cries of pain. I ran to a fork in the alley and turned to see a young woman lying on the ground, three men standing over her.

"Be quiet," one of them growled, kicking her in the side.

Anger boiled up within me. The woman was crying and bleeding. I unleashed the fury of the flames upon her assailants, trying not to hit her in the process. The men cursed aloud as the fire ignited their clothing, two of them running off. The third hadn't been hit as hard, and only one hand was burnt a bit. He looked at me with wide eyes.

"Who in the name of the devil are you?" he demanded.

"That's none of your concern," I told him fiercely, my hand raised toward him, ready to send off another blast. "Leave her alone. Go, before I decide not to show you mercy."

The man took a couple steps away in confusion, then turned and ran in the direction of the other two assailants. I lowered my hand and went over to the bleeding girl. She looked to be about nineteen, and was bruised and bleeding in several places. She was barely conscious. I tried to stop the bleeding as best as I could, reassuring her that I'd get her somewhere safe.

"Can you walk?" I asked.

"I'm not sure," she murmured. I helped her to her feet, supporting her with an arm.

Slowly, we made our way through the alleys back to Landon's Inn. I brought her in through the back by her insistence, to attract less attention. Carefully, I took her into my room and helped her into bed, checking over her injuries again. I pulled back her long, black hair out of the way.

"Are you going to be alright?" I said gently, checking for broken bones.

"I think so," she answered weakly.

"I'm going to go get some damp cloths and clean up this blood." She nodded slightly. I left and came back shortly with some moist towels and started wiping up the blood. Her cuts weren't really as serious as the blood made them appear to be, fortunately.

"Thank you," she said quietly. "For saving me. If you hadn't come when you did..."

"Shh," I said. "It's alright now. You're safe here."

"For the moment, I hope so. But I need to get out of town as soon as I can. They'll come after me. They won't stop till they've found me."

I frowned a bit at that. "Well, you're in no condition for travelling right now. I'm called Jessie. What's your name?"

"Mary Magdalene. They'll come after you, too, you know. Shouldn't have let them live, if you were trying to stay low. Dead men don't spread rumors."

That thought was disturbing. I didn't like being on the run, and it was comfortable here. Landon was a good man, and I didn't have any money to take with me to another town. I couldn't hope to find someone nice enough to give me food and shelter under short notice. Nor did I particularly agree with the statement that I should have killed them. No man deserved to die like that, no matter what they had done.

"Maybe you should try to get some sleep," I told Mary. "I'm going to go wait tables or something."

She nodded weakly. "See what rumors you can pick up, will you?"

"Alright," I promised. She closed her pale blue eyes and I went back out to wash out the bloody cloths and do some work.

As I served tables, I kept my ears open for conversation, as Mary had requested. Her words troubled me, though. I didn't want to be on the run again. Maybe it was illegal to use magic in this town. Surely I had done right this time, though. I had helped someone, and nobody was seriously hurt.

A man came in and sat down at a table. When I went over to take his order, he asked another man, "Have you been out to Rakart lately? Just came from there. I don't know what happened there, but its empty. Completely deserted."

I made note of that, figuring that must be the town to the west. I took his order and headed back to the kitchen. As I served more customers, I listened to more conversation. Most of it was useless, about money, crops, and trade. Then I heard something that caught my attention.

"I heard there's a Phoenix in town," spoke a young man, little more than a boy. "With huge wings of fire, shooting flames from her hands!"

I tried to appear casual, going on about my business. Mentally, I scoffed a little at the exaggeration. I certainly did not have wings. But it was sure evidence that people knew I was here. After finishing up my shift, I took some food back to my room for Mary.

She was able to sit up now, and glad to have something to eat. "So. Did you hear anything useful?" she wanted to know.

"Well," I began, grabbing a little piece of bread to munch on myself. "They know I'm in town, for one, and I heard something about all the people in Rakart mysteriously disappearing."

"Yesterday's news," Mary shrugged, eating a bowl of hot soup. "But if it's reached the common man by now, you can bet people more dangerous have already heard more. We should leave town tonight."

"Tonight?" I said in surprise, almost dropping my bread.

"Yeah, we'll have to sneak out. The Guild will be watching for people leaving, but I should be able to smuggle us out from under their noses."

"I should tell Landon I'm leaving," I mused aloud.

"If he can keep it quiet, see if you can get your pay, too," she suggested.

I just shrugged a bit and headed out to find Landon. It didn't feel right to ask for money from him, though. He had been kind enough to give me food and shelter. But I thought I should let him know I would be moving on, at least. I found him out on the back porch smoking a pipe.

"Hey, Jessie," he said to me cordially. "You need something?"

"I just wanted to let you know I'll be leaving tonight," I told him slowly.

He leaned back, taking a puff of his pipe. "Well, if you're certain, I hope you find what you're looking for, girl." He pulled out a few coins from his pocket and offered them to me. "Here's some money for the road."

I shook my head. "No, sir, you've been more than kind to me--"

He pressed the coins into my palm, "Just take it, okay? That is, unless you expect to eat dirt and sleep in a barn. You've earned that much, at least."

"Well, alright," I murmured. "Thank you."

"Goodbye, and good luck, Jessie."

I thanked him again, and returned to my room, where Mary was waiting. "What did you get?" she asked promptly. I showed her the coins. She snatched them up and shoved them into a pocket. "It's not much, but better than nothing. You really ought to get something with pockets sometime. No matter. Ready to go?"

I nodded hesitantly. I was as ready as I'd ever be. With that, Mary headed for the door, and I followed behind her.


	4. Hope

Before leaving the inn, Mary stopped me and said, "First, you need a new dress. That one just screams 'rich girl' and will make you stand out like a sore thumb. Here, put this on." She yanked a tattered scullery maid's dress out of a hall closet and shoved it at me.

A bit confused, and wondering if we should be taking it, I ducked back into my room and put on the garment over my white dress. Once it was on, Mary looked me over critically, tugging at it and frowning where the white could be seen under it.

"It'll do," she finally sighed. "If nobody looks too closely. Let's go."

I followed her out the back door of the inn. Mary led me out through the back alleys silently, under the light of the full moon, creeping between buildings, and alert for anything unusual. After some time, we came near the edge of town, and the smell of leather filled my nostrils. There was a cart full of tanned hides and leather goods here, a horse tied to it and ready to go.

I raised an eyebrow at her as she stopped near the wagon. Mary glanced around quickly and climbed into it, gesturing for me to do the same. "Hurry," she whispered. "Get inside and cover up."

I couldn't imagine how she managed to arrange such a thing so quickly, so I assumed that this was just some random merchant's cart. I hopped up onto it and crawled under the hides. Though it was quite smelly and hot, I made sure that none of me was sticking out.

"Stay quiet, wait, and don't move," Mary whispered.

I laid there waiting, listening to Mary's soft breathing next to me. I don't know how long we waited, but after some time, I heard voices. I couldn't quite make out the conversation, but when it was done, I felt somebody hop up onto the front of the cart. I almost held my breath as the wagon started moving.

As the cart slowly trundled toward the edge of town, I heard strange sounds, like thunder. I thought this was strange; there hadn't been a cloud in the sky when we left. Taking a chance, I peeked out between pieces of leather to see what was going on.

Two angels hovered high above the city. One with wings black as a raven, the other white as a swan. Somehow, they seemed almost familiar to me. I stared almost disbelievingly as lightning shot from the light angel's fingertips, and the dark angel quickly deflected it harmlessly. Beside me, I heard Mary breathe, "By the Light..."

The cart jerked a bit as I heard the wagoneer mutter, "Blasted angels, why can't they find somewhere else to fight? Best get out of Penton right-quick." The wagon moved faster, heading out of town.

High in the skies above Penton, the two angels continued to fight, and were soon joined by a third angel, this one also bearing black wings. After several more exchanges of lightning and rays of darkness, the white angel turned and retreated, flying quickly away from town. I hoped that he wasn't too badly injured. The dark angels did not pursue, but flew down into town.

Covering up again, I waited as the wagon rolled on out of town and onto the open fields. Aside from being almost smothered in leather, it was a pleasant enough trip, but I couldn't help but worry about those angels. Who were they? What were they doing in Penton? Why did they seem so familiar? They had been much too far away to get a close look at their faces, even illuminated by the moon, but something about them just struck a chord in me.

Hours passed. I slept uncomfortably under the heavy pressure of the leathers. By the time I woke wearily, the sun was well up, and the wagon still moving. My stomach rumbled as the cart continued its journey. Uneasily, I tried to sleep some more, not knowing how much longer the trip would take. Finally, mercifully, I regained my senses again, as the wagon slowed and jerked to a halt.

Cautiously, I peeked out of my hiding place and saw the wagoneer go off into a building. Mary prodded me and I took the cue to get out. We slid out of the wagon and slipped into an alley before anyone spotted us. It was already late evening of the next day, and I was starving.

"We're safe," Mary assured me. "We're in Camaria now. Let's get something to eat, okay?"

I nodded readily as she led me off toward an inn. It was a rundown place with a rusty sign over the door proclaiming "The Pigeon's Roost" in bold red letters, and by the speckles all over the walls I didn't doubt that was true. After handing over a few copper leaves, we received a decent amount of food. I was too hungry to care about the quality.

"Care to wait some more tables?" Mary said wryly.

"I'm fine with it. I need something to do. I think I slept entirely too much this past day."

"See if you can pick up some rumors," she said, standing. "I need to meet somebody in town. I should be back by moonrise."

I nodded to her, finishing up my food and going up to the innkeeper as she went out the door. He readily enough accepted my help, and I set about serving meals and eavesdropping. There wasn't much conversation of interest going on, mainly about trade, scandals, and families, but I did pick up a few tidbits.

"You noticed the angels around here lately?" said one young man over a mug of ale. "I wonder what they're doing out here."

"Damned if I know," one of his friends replied. "I just hope they move on and don't break anything."

After some time, I glanced out the window. The almost-full moon was well in the sky, and Mary still hadn't shown. I worked for several more hours, not really tired, before going to the room we had booked. I laid there, awake for some time before I heard the door open. Sitting upright, I tried to see who it was in the dark.

"Don't worry. It's me," Mary's voice came out of the darkness.

I relaxed in relief. "Are you alright? You were gone for quite a long time."

"Yeah," Mary said, setting down a pack and sliding it under her bed. "Just ran into some small problems. But I dealt with them. Did you pick up anything useful?"

I shook my head. "I heard some people expressing annoyance at angels, but aside from that, nothing."

"Good," she said, curling up in her bed. "Didn't think rumors would have spread this far yet, but you never know. Best try'n get some rest. G'night."

"Sleep well," I murmured, but it was a long time before I could get to sleep myself. When I finally did, I was plagued by nightmares of lightning, of angels fighting, and Samael's laughing face.


	5. Trickery

I got up early the next morning, unable to sleep. Mary was still in bed, so I headed out to the common room to get something to eat. The place wasn't crowded this early, so I took a seat in a quiet corner to think.

I had barely begun to eat when a man sat down at my table and said cordially, "Hey, Jessie, nice to see you again."

I just blinked at him in surprise for a few moments. "Hello," I said hesitantly.

"How'd your deal go out west?" asked the blond man, poking at a plate of hotcakes with a fork.

Without any idea what he was talking about, I muttered, "Not well." He seemed strikingly familiar to me, and somehow I knew I could trust him, but I could not quite place a name to his face.

"Ah," he said, swallowing a bite of food. "I take it you failed to deliver the goods?"

Rather confused, I asked, "What's your name again?"

"I'm Gabriel." Upon hearing that name, the image of an angel, radiant and golden, flashed briefly in my mind. "Surely you remember me."

"Not really," I admitted, frowning slightly.

He looked at me for a few moments with his sky blue eyes and said finally, "I see."

With a sidelong glance, I made sure nobody was close enough to hear and lowered my voice. "What's going on here?"

"What _do_ you remember?" he asked softly.

"Practically nothing."

He sighed heavily. "That's not good at all."

"Can you please explain things to me?" I begged him.

"No time," he replied. "Listen. You need to stay low, and don't draw attention to yourself. Try to get to the city of Jerusalem. And whatever you do, _don't_ use your powers."

"But--"

He stood up, leaving his empty plate and heading for the door quickly. I clambered to my feet as well, staring after him. If I rushed after him, I would draw attention to myself. Reluctantly, I sat down again with a sigh and finished my breakfast. I then took some food back to my room for Mary.

The girl was awake when I got there, and glad for the food. "Thanks. Did you pick up anything new in the common room?"

I sat down on my bed heavily. "A man named Gabriel approached me. He knew my name."

"Really," Mary drawled with interest.

"He seemed familiar. He told me I should lay low and go to some place called Jerusalem. Do you know where that is?"

Mary frowned a bit. "Jerusalem? I think that's somewhere way out east, long ways from here."

"I feel like I can trust him. I should try to get there, somehow." I sighed.

"Not by yourself, you aren't," Mary insisted, reaching under her bed to pull out her pack.

"You don't have to--"

"Don't worry about it," Mary said brightly. "It's a fine day to be on the move. Let's go."

"What, _now_?"

"Sure, why not?" She finished up her food and slung the pack over her shoulder.

"Alright," I said, standing up. "How are we going to get there?"

"I'm sure we'll find a way." Mary headed out the door. I trailed behind tentatively.

Confidently, Mary led me through town, the noonday sun streaming down around us. In a back alley somewhere, she whistled over a young boy, whispered something to him quickly, and he nodded and ran off. I frowned at this, but made no comment. Mary moved on, eventually stopping outside a large stable. Taking a quick glance of the area, she strode inside, looking from side to side to examine the horses.

"I think I'd like a white one," she commented, peering in at a mare. "What do you think?"

"How are we going to afford horses? We have hardly any money!" I protested.

Mary looked me over. "I think a roan would suit you fine, myself." She opened the door to a stall and began saddling up the roan gelding.

"Mary! What are we doing here?"

"Hop on," she said, patting the gelding, then moving to the mare.

Crackling thunder rumbled from somewhere outside, followed by distant shouting. I frowned worriedly, and mounted the gelding, quieting my protests. Mary quickly finished saddling her mare and swung herself up into the saddle gracefully.

"That dress is so not suited for riding," she commented, heading toward the back door.

I could hear shouts from outside, and explosions, closer this time. I nudged my gelding after Mary, wondering only briefly where I learned to ride, and being grateful that I apparently had. Mary galloped out the half-open back door, and I urged my mount to keep up.

Flashes of lightning stung my eyes. I quickly looked around to see what was going on. Two angels were circling in the air above me. One with black wings, the other golden as the sun. After a moment, I recognized the latter. It was Gabriel. And the former, I felt it had to be Samael. I was sure of it.

A man's voice shouted from somewhere behind me. "Hey! Those are my horses!"

Then I spotted the boy Mary had talked to before. He darted across an open space, carrying a small box. The man yelled several obscenities and chased after the boy.

"Come on!" cried Mary.

Turning from the spectacle, I rode after her, my heart pounding in my chest. I tried not to think of the implications of what I had seen. A stray lightning bolt struck the ground near my horse's hooves, pelting me with dirt and sand. My frightened gelding galloped as fast as it could run, following Mary's white mare toward the edge of town.

The sounds of battle faded into the distance as we reached the open fields. We slowed to an easier gait once we were well away from the scene. I looked back again to see what was happening, but couldn't make out anything through the smoke and fire. Mary dropped back to ride alongside me.

"Well," she commented, "we really picked the right time to get out of town."

"We stole these horses, didn't we," I said flatly.

"Oh, no, not really. We just kind of, borrowed them for a bit."

I rolled my eyes. "I do hope we don't make a habit of this."

"I really only like horses when speed is better than quiet."

"No, I mean, running out of town with angels fighting behind us," I said with a smirk.

"Oh," Mary said sheepishly. "Well, I s'pose you shouldn't be surprised. What'd you do to piss them off, anyway, if you don't mind me asking?"

"I have no idea," I admitted. "How far is it to the next town?"

"This is the road to Derry," she answered. "Not a very big place, but we should be there before dark."

"I think I've had enough adventure for one day. A quiet little village would suit me fine about now."

After several hours of riding, we reached the village of Derry. Mary casually handed over a few coins to pay for room and board for ourselves and our horses. Tired from the long ride and having slept little the night before, I drifted away into slumber. But darkness haunted my dreams, of angels fighting and screaming, laughing and crying. And I saw Samael's grinning face, telling me, "You can run, but you can't hide."


	6. Panic

I woke in a cold sweat and sat bolt upright. It was still dark outside, only the pale glow of the gibbous moon visible through the window. I climbed out of bed, trying to put the frightening dreams out of my mind. I glanced over to Mary's bed, and saw that she was still asleep.

My heart raced. I was certain Samael was hunting me. In even a moment's rest, he would catch me.

I slipped out of the inn, into the moonlit night. Squinting into the sky, I tried to see if there really was someone chasing me. Shadows crossed the stars as I watched. I went cold in fear and ran back inside.

I shook Mary awake. "Mary!" I whispered. "Wake up! We must flee this place!"

Mary groaned a bit and blinked awake. "Whaa? What's going on?" She got up and started scooping up her possessions.

"Dark angel! Chasing us! We have to get out of here!"

Mary put a hand on my shoulder. "Calm down, Jessie. You're babbling."

"We're leaving. Right now." I rushed for the door again.

I sensed Mary following me as I made for the stable. I saddled and mounted my roan and galloped toward the edge of town. Mary made no protest, matching my actions.

I peered back at the sky as we rode. A shadow passed over the moon, but I could not identify what it was. I urged my gelding faster.

Something grabbed me from behind. Struggling, I was pulled off my horse. I wrenched free of my assailant's grasp and tumbled to the ground.

I twisted around to see a black-winged angel hovering over me. I could not make out his face in the shadows.

"Jessie!" I heard Mary's voice, and the sound of approaching hoofbeats.

"Who are you? What do you want?" I demanded, clambering to my feet.

The sound of steel rang through the night as the angel drew a gleaming sword. I growled low. It was useless to run, so the only option was to stand and fight.

A glint of light flew through the air and struck him in the arm. I glanced to where it came from and saw Mary pulling out another throwing knife. Another flash of moonlight on metal struck the angel in the leg.

With a cry of rage, the dark angel swooped down and slashed at me. I narrowly dodged the first swing, and the second caught my dress and sliced through it. I snarled and let forth a blast of flame at him, singing a few feathers as he flapped out of the way.

He thrust his blade toward me. Pain shot through my arm as the blow landed faster than I could react. With a feral scream, I raised my other hand, a blazing inferno erupting from my fingertips. My head swam from the exertion, and I collapsed to the ground.

Footsteps approached me. Through my dizziness, they sounded like I was underwater. Someone was speaking my name. I breathed deeply, trying to resurface from the sea of exhaustion.

"Jessie? Jessie? Are you alright?" It was Mary. I blinked at her blurry form.

"I think so," I answered slowly. "The angel...?"

"Dead."

A sharp pain brought me back to reality. I clutched a hand to my arm and found it wet. "I'm bleeding."

Mary pulled out a cloth and tied it snugly around my arm. "That should do for now."

With an effort, I climbed to my feet. I looked over to where the charred body of the dark angel lay. I stepped closer and pushed it over with my foot so that the moonlight fell upon its face. My stomach lurched as one blue eye stared blankly out from his badly burnt visage.

"It's not him," I breathed.

"Not who?" Mary asked from behind me.

I turned away from the smell of burnt flesh. "It's not Samael. The one who was chasing me. Maybe he sent somebody else after me..."

Mary made no response. She went over and collected the horses, and helped me into the saddle. I didn't want to look at the corpse again. We rode in silence for some time, my arm throbbing. I tried not to think about the battle, but the images kept churning up in my head. Gabriel had warned me not to use my powers, but I did not understand why. What could possibly happen? He had to have some good reason for it.

Mary made some comment about when we would reach the next town, although I did not catch the name of it. I nodded groggily, not caring that she wasn't looking at me, her eyes fixed upon the road before us.

Some hours later, the sun broke the horizon above the city before us. Mary found an inn and took me to bed, changing my makeshift bandage and telling me that I should get some sleep. Overexertion and lack of sleep had caught up to me. I was asleep almost before my head hit the pillow.

After a blissful, dreamless sleep, I woke again. My stomach was rumbling. I glanced out the window to see that the sun was past its zenith. I stumbled out into the common room in search of food.

Mary was sitting at a corner table talking to a sinewy man with a sword. She waved to me as I came out, and I went over to join her.

"Jessie, this is John."

"Pleased to meet you," I said, quirking an eyebrow at Mary. I ordered some food from a passing waitress, hoping we still had enough money for it.

The dark-haired man nodded to me with a faint grin. "I understand you will be travelling out east?"

"That's right," I said, checking my injured arm.

"John will be going with us," Mary said.

"Oh." After last night's encounter, I couldn't reasonably argue with that. I assumed he was a friend of Mary's, and figured I could trust him, since she seemed to.

My meal arrived, and I began to eat hungrily. Mary said, "We'll be heading out for Afinna tomorrow. Don't argue--you need the rest."

"How far is it to Jerusalem?" I asked, hoping John would know.

"That city lies out on the east coast," he answered. "It will take us a while to get there. Several weeks, at best. We will be travelling across open wilderness after we leave Afinna."

"I'll be getting some supplies as long as we're in town," Mary added. "You should try'n get some more rest while you can."

"But what if--"

"John will protect you. Relax. Get some rest."

"Alright." I sighed in resignation, giving up the argument. I finished up my meal and washed it down with a cup of warm juice before heading back to our room.

I wasn't particularly tired, and I laid there awake for some time, staring at the ceiling and hoping that John really could protect me from dark angels.

The nightmares returned when I finally drifted off into slumber. Furious flames danced about in my mind, manic laughter echoing inside my head. In my dreams, I saw the burnt form of the angel I had killed rise up from the grave and point at me accusingly. A judge pounded a sceptre and pronounced me guilty of murder. Ignoring my protests, white-winged angels dragged me away in chains. In the jury box, Samael stood laughing at the show.


	7. Luck

Warm sunlight fell upon my eyelids, slowly pulling me awake. I sat up slowly and saw Mary across the room, packing some bundles with rope, rations, blankets, and other provisions.

"Morning, Jessie. How'd you sleep? I got you a new dress." She held up a dark green garment. "How's your arm doing?"

I touched my arm. It didn't hurt anymore, so I took off the bandage. Underneath was clean, unblemished skin. Mary's eyes widened.

"Erm, okay," she said. "Go ahead and change. I'd better go load up the horses." She gathered up the bundles and left.

I wondered briefly at where she had found the money to buy all these things, but presumed John had helped fund this trip. Reminding myself to thank him later for his generosity, I closed the curtains and took off my torn, dirty dress. The dress Mary had brought me was a plain outfit of light cotton, the color of pine needles, and divided for riding.

After donning the dress, I found she had also left me a pair of supple boots, a cloak, and a belt with a pouch and a knife. I strapped on the belt with a bit of a shrug, not really feeling that I needed it because of my powers, and hung the cloak over my shoulders. The weather wasn't so warm that it would be uncomfortable, at least.

Gathering up my old clothes, I headed for the door and out into the stable, where Mary and John were making preparations. My roan and Mary's dun mare were saddled up, as was John's chestnut gelding.

"Ready to go?" she asked cheerfully.

"Ready as I'll ever be," I answered. "Thanks for the dress. What shall I do with this one?" I held up the old dress.

"Stick it in your saddlebags," she replied. "Can always get it fixed or use it for rags if needed, I suppose."

I just nodded. I folded it up and put it in the bag next to some blankets. We mounted up and rode east out of town, the sun already well in the sky as we left. The eastern edge of town was marked by a wide stream, trees shadowing the opposite bank. A sturdy stone bridge straddled the water.

In the center of the bridge, John came to a halt and pointed out over the water to the right. "Look," he said. A graceful blue heron turned to peer at us for a moment before taking flight. "It is a good omen to see a heron at the start of a journey. Fortune will be watching over us this day."

"We need all the luck we can get," I muttered under my breath as we continued on.

We rode on along the dirt road into the woodlands. Birds chirped in the trees around us, and occasional butterflies flitted around the wildflowers alongside the road. It was all very calming, and I relaxed a bit in the peaceful environment. I could almost believe we were really safe, for the moment.

When it started getting dark, we stopped for the night and made camp near the road. "We should read Afinna tomorrow," John said over the campfire.

I curled up in my blankets and tried to sleep, but something was bothering me. On the edge of sleep, almost in a dream, I felt a peculiar feeling compelling me. It wasn't particularly strong or forceful, but it was decidedly there and making itself known. There was something I needed to do. I stood up slowly. Mary was asleep already, but John was keeping watch. He gave me an odd look as I walked for the edge of the clearing.

"Need to... relieve myself," I muttered as I passed him. He just nodded and went back to watching the road.

I didn't like lying, but I couldn't explain what it was that was pulling me. It didn't feel malevolent in any way, either. I wandered off into the forest, allowing this feeling to guide me. Moonlight filtered down through breaks in the trees.

Some distance from the road, I came to a rocky hill. There was an opening at the base of the hill leading down into darkness. This was where I needed to go. I slipped inside and held out my hand, and wondered if I could a moment before willing a small flame into existance in my palm to light my way. I was surprised and relieved when it worked. There was no sense going into this blind if I didn't have to.

Deep within the tunnel, I found a small cave. Curled up in one corner was a man, bound and gagged, his clothing caked with dried blood. Tossing my globe of flame to the floor, I scrambled over to him, checking if he was still alive.

Miraculously, he was still breathing, and had a faint pulse. I removed the gag from his mouth and tried to untie the numerous knots that bound him. He groaned awake as I worked, coughing a bit. The light of the fire gleamed off his gray eyes.

"Be still," I murmured. "I'm going to cut the ropes off." He nodded weakly as I pulled out my knife and began to slice through the obstinate ropes.

"Thank you for coming," he whispered hoarsely. "I was afraid I might be too weak to make the dream link."

"Who did this to you?" I wondered.

"Dark angels. Two of them. Left me for dead here. To die alone in darkness..."

I finished cutting the ropes off him and put my knife away. "I'm called Jessie. What's your name?"

"Jeshua!" cried the man, kneeling before me. I blinked. "Praise the Light! I, Judas, do hereby pledge my life into the service of the mighty Jeshua."

I was stunned by his words, but deep inside me, I knew it was true. My name was Jeshua. I didn't know how to answer him for a moment. I stood there staring at him in silence for several moments as he looked up at me expectantly. Deep within, I knew I could not refuse, either, and the answer came to me all at once.

"I, Jeshua, do hereby accept your service, Judas. Rise, and let us be gone from this place."

I scooped up my fiery orb and headed for the surface, Judas trailing behind. Once outside, I extinguished it again, and made my way back to camp.

"Do you know how long you were there?" I asked. "We've got food back at camp if you're hungry."

Judas shook his head. "It was too dark to tell. It felt like several days, though."

He was a scrawny young man, and I figured the sooner he got some meat on his bones again, the better. He was my responsibility now, whether I liked it or not. John raised an eyebrow at me as we came into the clearing.

"John, this is Judas," I said. "Do we have any of that rabbit stew left?" The swordsman nodded, indicating the cooking pot. I brought out some bread and cheese for Judas as well, and he ate hungrily. "You should get some sleep," I told him. "Get your strength back."

Judas nodded in agreement, and slept after he finished eating. I didn't look forward to sleep, myself, after the nightmares I'd had lately. I muttered to John that he should sleep as well, and I would take watch instead. He shrugged and dozed off, and was snoring within minutes.

I sat there awake for some time, considering just what I'd gotten myself into. I was Jeshua. But what did it mean to be Jeshua? I must be somebody important, for people to be reacting to me like they were. But in what way? I hoped Judas would be able to tell me more when he woke, since he recognized the name. Why had Samael told me my name was Jessie? It seemed a sort of nickname for Jeshua, like one would use with a close friend. What if what he had said was true? No, it couldn't be. Not with the way Judas reacted to me. Unless he was simply afraid of me...

I didn't sleep at all that night, time moving past me in a blur, lost in my thoughts. Before I realized it, the sky was growing gray and the sun was rising.


	8. Knowledge

I was uncomfortable with asking Judas about who I was. He had an impression that I was someone I wasn't really, and I feared breaking that delusion, that he might not accept me. I had little memory of being Jeshua. Was I really still Jeshua, then? Even knowing my name, I still was uncertain who I was, or why I didn't remember.

My apprehension increased as we set out that morning. I rode in silence in the saddle in front of Judas, for he had insisted to ride with me. The answers were within arm's reach, and I did not dare touch them. Maybe I was really just afraid of what he would tell me, that I wouldn't like what I heard. Instead, I decided to fill him in on the situation, and hope that he dropped some hints.

"The dark angel Samael has been after me," I told him quietly as we rode.

"Samael?" Judas replied. "Damn that Wraith. What has he been doing?"

"I think he sent another dark angel to attack me two nights ago." For the most part, I kept my eyes to the road ahead. John was riding in front of us, and Mary behind.

"I didn't think he'd be so blatant. Are you sure it was Samael's agent?"

I shook my head. "I couldn't really tell who he was, either. It was too dark. I did notice that he had blue eyes."

"Could be anyone, I suppose. What happened to him?"

"I had to kill him," I murmured nervously.

"Just as well. One less dark angel to worry about."

I relaxed a bit at his condonement of my actions. "I don't know what Samael's up to, but it can't be good."

"It's never good. What's going on out west?"

"The city of Rakart has been mysteriously deserted," I said tentatively.

"All at once? With no sign of where they went?"

I nodded. "No doubt Samael's doing, as well."

"What could he possibly want with an entire townful of zombies?"

So that was what happened. "I don't know."

"It must have taken him a lot of energy to kill and raise the entire town," Judas mused aloud.

"He's been chasing me. Followed me to Penton, then Camaria after that."

"At half strength? Awfully bold of him. With him weakened like that, why didn't you kill him when you had the chance?"

I stared silently ahead at the rode. I was afraid he'd ask a question like that. Vividly, I remembered the scenes of battle above the two cities, and Gabriel's words. "I--"

"Did he kill you?"

I blinked. "What--"

Judas sighed. "Where are we going?"

"Jerusalem."

"Why are we heading back to headquarters? The war's out here. We should turn back!"

A peculiar image of service, I thought. "Gabriel told me to."

"But you outrank him."

I did? "It was sound advice, under the circumstances."

"The only reason he'd send you back to Jerusalem is if you had been killed and unable to continue the war."

That was ridiculous. "I'm not dead."

"Of course not. Oh, Jessie, why didn't you say so?"

I sighed. "Are you proposing that we ride _into_ a war zone?"

"How much do you remember?"

"Very little," I admitted.

"What happened in Penton and Camaria?"

"In Penton, Samael was fighting a light angel. I think he was losing, up until another dark angel joined him, and the light angel escaped. In Camaria, Gabriel was fighting him, but I didn't see the outcome of the battle."

"What did the light angel look like?"

"I couldn't tell much other than his wings were white, and he had light hair."

"Could be anyone. But he has an agent in Penton? Probably a high angel if he could turn the tide enough to beat a high light angel."

I was frustrated to not really know what he was talking about. Bits and pieces sounded familiar, but it was like having the pieces of a puzzle but not knowing what way they fit together. All pretenses were off. "Judas, please tell me. Who am I? _What_ am I? What's going on here?"

"We have to turn back!" Judas insisted, louder this time. John heard him and slowed, and Mary pulled up beside my horse, wondering what was going on.

I gritted my teeth in anger. I didn't appreciate him changing the subject like that. I wanted my questions answered.

Mary asked, "What's going on?"

"Why do we have to turn back?" I demanded.

Judas said, "If we go back, Jessie can kill Samael and end this war!"

John made no comment, looking over at us as if waiting for a decision. Mary said, "I'd rather not head back, if it's all the same to you."

"Now, wait a minute," I snapped. "I'm not going back there until I know exactly what I'm getting into, understood?"

"But--" Judas protested.

"No buts. Now let's keep going. East."

Judas sighed and nodded. We continued eastward along the rough woodland road. I clenched my hand on the pommel and tried to calm myself, but I felt only the answers to my questions would accomplish that. Maybe I _could_ kill Samael, but I wasn't about to endanger Mary and John so needlessly. Nor was I keen on rushing in blind.

"I'd appreciate some answers, Judas. I'm growing quite tired of people evading my questions."

"Right. Fine. Who are you? You are Jeshua, Phoenix Angel of the Light." At this, an image flashed before my eyes, that of an angel with blazing, fiery wings. "We're at war with the Angels of Darkness."

"And who are you?"

"I am Judas, Lotus Angel, also of the Light."

"How do I know what you're telling me is true? Samael also claimed that I was on his side."

"Don't trust me, then. Trust your own instincts. What do they tell you?"

I had a feeling that I could believe him, but doubt still nagged at me along with my growing apprehension. Something wasn't right about the entire situation, and I couldn't put my finger on what. "We aren't turning back," I said firmly, but the feeling didn't go away.

"That's your prerogative, milady."

"Don't call me that," I snapped. "Please," I added more gently.

"As you wish, Jessie."

We rode in an uneasy silence for a while, and I mused over what I had learned. I was a Phoenix, that much was clear. So the people in Penton had been dead on with those rumors. I wasn't entirely comfortable with the idea, but I could not deny it. It was one of those things that I just knew was true. I wished that I could remember more, but my talk with Judas had filled in a number of gaps. Had I really died? Why was I still alive, then? Where did I stand in the angelic rankings? By the way he talked, it seemed fairly high.

"Judas, when you talked about me being killed, what did you mean by that?"

"Oh, yeah. Since you're a Phoenix, you come back to life when you die, but usually lose your memories instead."

That explained it. It didn't make the idea any less disturbing, though. "But how did I die, then?"

"I don't know. Where were you when you woke?"

"In Rakart. It was deserted by that point, and Samael was skulking around somewhere."

"Maybe Samael killed you, then. It's the only thing I can think of."

"If he did, then we definitely shouldn't be going back there just yet."

We reached Afinna by late afternoon, and booked rooms at the inn. Judas again insisted in staying close to me, but I put my foot down at that and insisted that he sleep in John's room instead. He reluctantly conceded, and we went to sleep after eating dinner.

I slept soundly, as I was extremely tired from missing sleep the night before. The dreams came again, worse this time. I saw myself in Rakart, a bustling and prosperous city, searching frantically for Samael. I darted through the streets and the alleys, unable to find him. And then I saw him before me, grinning widely. Before I could raise my hands to burn him, however, he struck me full in the chest with a spell. My breath became pain, and I doubled over. As darkness took me and the dream ended, I could hear Samael's manic laughter echo hollowly in my skull.


	9. Guilt

When I woke late the next morning, Mary's bed was empty. Instead, John was sitting passively in a chair by the door.

"Where's Mary?" I asked.

"She went with Judas to buy him new clothes and a horse."

I slid out of bed to stand over by the window. It was a gray morning, the sky overcast with clouds heavy with the portent of rain. "I appreciate all the help you've given us."

"Just doing my job."

"Oh, but you didn't have to come along and give us all this money..."

John raised an eyebrow. "I believe you've misunderstood something here."

I looked at him in confusion. "What do you mean?"

"Mary paid me well to come along."

I stared at him for a long moment, thoughts turning in my head as it sank in. How could that be? Where did she get the money to do that? Finally, I asked, "How much did she pay you?"

"Ten shekels a day, plus thirty up front."

Rain was starting to patter outside the window. I didn't know how to respond to this statement. I went past him silently out to the common room for some breakfast. He followed behind me like a watchdog.

As I sat down to eat, still wondering where Mary had gotten that money, the door opened. Mary and Judas came in, both rather damp. Judas was wearing a new tunic and light travelling cloak to replace his bloodstained rags.

"It's really starting to rain out there," Mary commented, shaking out her hair like a dog. I grumbled in annoyance as one of the drops splattered me in the eye.

Judas sat down next to me. "Good morning, Jessie. Did you sleep well?"

My only response was a noncommittal grunt as I gave Mary a calculating look. What else was she hiding from me? I took a bite of my omelette and asked Judas, "Nice clothes. How much did they cost you?"

Judas looked down at his dark blue tunic. "Oh, not much. Just two shekels."

Mary sat down at the table with some food as well, her blonde hair frizzy from the treatment she had given it. "Let's stay put for a while and see if this rain lets up, shall we?"

Judas said, "That's a good idea."

"Travelling could become treacherous if it rains too much," John commented. "We will need to cross the River Afinna once we leave town."

I made no comment, eating my eggs and musing. Mary hadn't had time to do any sort of legitimate job. She also showed no compunction against stealing horses. But to steal that much money? Where had it come from?

Thunder rumbled outside. I froze, fork halfway to my mouth, fearing that it was another angel battle. My fork clattered against my plate as I scrambled outside. The rain was pouring down by this point, and I was quickly drenched. The sky was covered with black clouds, torrential rain splattering against the paved streets and running in rivulets into the gutters.

Lightning flashed in the dark clouds near the city, followed by a crack of loud thunder. Squinting my eyes toward it, I could not make out any winged figures silhouetted in the light. I must be getting paranoid. I muttered to myself and hurried back inside.

Mary sighed at me. "Jessie, Jessie, Jessie, why'd you do that for? Come on, let's get you dried off. This is no weather to be going anywhere in."

She ushered me back to our room and closed the door. Once inside, I asked, "Mary, where did you get that money?"

"Camaria," she said, attacking my hair with a towel.

"Camaria?"

"Yeah. Told you I was gonna meet somebody there."

I paused. "How much do you have?"

"As much as we'll need. Bah, can't you just like, warm up your clothes a bit to get the water out or something?"

I smirked. "Much as I'd like to try, I'd probably just burn it up."

We finished drying ourselves off as best as we could. I accepted Mary's explanation of where she'd gotten the money, although I wished she had told me sooner. That done, we went back to the common room where the men were chatting amiably over beer. I sat down next to them and took a bite of my now-cold omelette.

John said, "There's no use travelling in this weather. If we're lucky, we may be able to set out this afternoon after it tapers off."

"The sooner the better," I said.

The common room was still surprisingly empty. Perhaps they didn't get many travellers out in this area. I hunkered down by the hearthfire to wait out the storm. The sounds of thunder receeded an hour later, but the rain kept falling.

"Hope nothin' important got hit," the balding innkeeper commented. "Hate them lightn' storms. Glad we don't get 'em often, but when we do, Light help us."

"I fear the rain will flood the river," John said.

"Aye, it might that," the innkeeper said. "You folks better be hopin' the bridge holds, if'n you mean to head east. Don't see why you'd want to. Ain't nothin' out that way but wolves and madmen."

The rain tapered off by late afternoon. John pulled on his cloak and said, "I will check if the bridge and the road are safe to travel." He went outside.

Judas said, "What will we do if we can't travel today?"

Mary answered, "We'll stay the night here and head out in the morning. North along the river, if we can't cross it. See if there's a bridge up that way that'll work."

Judas stared into the fire. "We'll be getting further away from the war zone."

"And that's exactly what I intend to do," I said. "Get as far away from this bloody war as possible."

"You should be fighting alongside them, Jeshua," Judas said quietly. "They're fighting and dying out there."

I sighed. "Don't start laying guilt on me like that, please." I couldn't help but wonder if he was right, though. Was there really nothing I could do? If Samael had killed me, surely I wouldn't stand a chance against him again. I should do what Gabriel wanted me to, and head to Jerusalem, to get my memories restored. Then I might be of some use to the light angels.

John returned a few minutes later. We looked up to him expectantly, and he shook his head. "There's nothing left of the bridge but charred debris floating in the water. Looks like it was struck by lightning."

The innkeeper grunted. "That'll take a while to rebuild. Sorry to hear."

Mary handed him a few more coins. "Looks like we'll be staying here a bit longer."

We began to eat a light supper of bread and soup. As I ate, I couldn't help but wonder at how convenient it was that the bridge was hit. No, it was certainly a coincidence. I hadn't seen any angels in town besides Judas and myself. But it nagged at me, and the apprehension I had been feeling for the last few days grew stronger.

I went to bed early, grateful for the chance to catch up on my sleep, if nothing else. My sleep was far from pleasant, however. In my dreams, I saw angels fighting in battle, light against dark. I saw the light angels screaming and dying. Some of them, I almost recognized their faces, and could almost put a name to them. They saw me and begged for me to help, calling me by name and reaching out to me with charred hands.


	10. Betrayal

I woke from my nightmares, and decided I'd rather not go back to sleep. A quick glance out the window told me that it was still dark outside. I sighed quietly and went outside for some air.

A silver half-moon hung low in the sky, shimmering through a break in the clouds, but most of the stars were obscured. I caught sight of a figure in the shadows moving toward me, and panicked for a moment until the moonlight fell upon his face. It was Judas. I relaxed.

"Don't sneak up on me like that," I said to him. "What are you doing out at this hour?"

"The same could be asked of you," he said lightly. "I couldn't sleep."

"Nor could I." I didn't elaborate, reluctant tell him about my nightmares.

He nodded understandingly. "Care to go for a drink? I know of a nice place down the street that stays open all night."

"Sounds good to me," I replied. Anything was better than going back to sleep.

He led me out along the dim streets and we came to a small tavern. It was empty inside but for a tall bartender, clean-shaven and well-dressed. The barkeeper smiled at us cordially as we came in.

"Hey, Barakel," Judas said, leaning against the bar. "You got any of that cherry mead left?"

"Certainly," the man addressed as Barakel said. I sat down next to Judas as the barkeep poured us two mugs of the red liquor. I wondered briefly if Judas had brought along any money for this, but was too tired to really care.

I took a sip of the smooth drink, looking at Judas curiously. He must be from around Afinna if he knew the town so well. I asked, "Do you come here often?"

Judas shrugged. "If work doesn't keep me away from home. Me and Barakel go way back."

Barakel smiled at me. "So, what's your name, lass?"

"Jessie," I grunted, and drank deeply of my mead.

"Ah, yes," Barakel said with recognition. "What's a child of the light doing out so very late at night?"

I looked at him oddly. Was he an angel, too? "Can't sleep," I murmured.

"Your dreams haunt you?" asked Barakel. "That must be terrible."

How did he know that? "Horrible. Awful," I found myself agreeing.

Barakel leaned close. "You need not be haunted by guilt and fear, my dear." I stared at him groggily. "There are ways..."

"What do you mean? What sort of ways?" I glanced at Judas. Had he even touched his mead? Looking down at my own, I saw that the mug was half-empty. I didn't think I could get drunk from that little.

"I could help," Barakel said smoothly. "I could tell you what you'd need to do."

"Tell me. Please."

"Are you sure you want to know?" he went on. "I'm none too sure you are capable of it, dearie."

Judas fidgeted. Something wasn't right about this situation. I was dizzy and could hardly think straight. I slurred, "I want to know."

"Children of the light have no place in the night."

"Stop speaking in riddles," I snapped.

"But the children of the night feel no guilt or fear, nor do they suffer from dreams and nightmares."

I stared at him. His form was fuzzy before my eyes. What was he talking about? "You couldn't possibly mean..."

"Ah, my dear angel, how little you understand." Barakel smiled unnervingly at me.

"I think I understand quite enough here," I said wide-eyed, trying to shake the grogginess from my head. Damnit, had the man drugged me?

"Don't be afraid, Jeshua," Barakel said. "We will not hurt you, if you cooperate."

"I'm bloody well not going to cooperate!" I cried. Why had Judas brought me here? He couldn't be one of them, too!

I tried to stand, but quickly discovered that my shaky legs would not hold me. I braced myself against the bar, glaring at Barakel. My heart pounded in my chest as anger grew within me. The fury was my strength and salvation. I encouraged it.

"There is no need for that," Barakel said, straightening. "We are not your enemies."

"I'll have no truck with liars and traitors!"

I sent a small globe of flame toward Barakel, bursting like a small firecracker. He put up an arm and somehow deflected the flame. He was unharmed. It enraged me even more to see that. I growled and let rage wash through my body and out my hands, setting the bar ablaze.

Judas scrambled away from the burning bar, ducking shattering glass. Barakel took a step back and looked hard at me. He raised his hand and pointed to me, and a bolt of lightning erupted from his fingers and struck me full in the chest. I stumbled and fell, still shaky from the drugged mead.

I screamed in fury and unleashed a torrent of fire from where I lay. Judas made it to the door and slipped out into the alley. From beyond the sheet of flame, Barakel continued to assault me with lightning. I didn't really feel the pain, though.

"Why do you bloody dark angels want me so badly?" I coughed on smoke, and realized that my dress was on fire, but I was beyond caring.

There was no answer. Whether Barakel was dead or had escaped was uncertain. I couldn't see anything through the hazy smoke and burning wood. My eyes began watering, further obscuring my vision. Light, I wasn't even sure if I could move anyway!

I tried to get up, but my body wouldn't respond. I sighed and closed my eyes. I had failed again. The traitor, Judas, had escaped justice. I hoped the dark angel Barakel had been killed. I knew I was dying. That thought brought no fear to be, for I was a Phoenix. But Judas... I had to remember that. I thought fiercely that Judas was a traitor, that I must not forget that. As I clung to that one burning thought, darkness and flame took me, and I remembered no more.


End file.
